Quiet at the dinner table

I remember when I was little and sat with my parents at the dinner table.
Quite often we ended up sitting in silence.
For me it was really difficult to keep up a conversation.
I needed a lot of time and it was easier for me if I got help, for example, using signs and pictures.
When it got quiet it sometimes felt that the silence just grew and became a wall between me and my parents.
A wall that became thicker and thicker.
I remember thinking: "Why are they not talking to me?
What have I done wrong now?"
The guilt grew inside me.
I wish that my parents would have helped me more.
That they would have seen how difficult it was fo me.
It would have been nice if they had asked how I felt.
Then I could have shown them how I felt with the help of pictures.
Then they could have helped me.
Told me that it's okay to be quiet sometimes.
Or helped me talk to them with the tools I had.

/Anna, 22 years old