Not finished grieving - Nationellt kompetenscentrum anhöriga

Not finished grieving

When I was 11 years old, I got new twin sisters.
Their names are Liv and Nadja, and today they are 30 years old.
They were born seven weeks premature, and during the birth Nadja suffered from a lack of oxygen.
Today, Nadja is blind, is unable to talk and cannot make any conscious movements.
She lives 800 km from the rest of us.
She is very loved and we visit her often.
Children do what parents do.
And my parents did not want to show us their grief and despair.
Their intentions were good because what could we do with that?
Well, now I know.
If I had seen them cry, my world would have been shaken.
For a moment.
But I also would have seen them dry their tears.
Take a deep breath, empty the dishwasher and put on the coffee.
Laugh at Liv's crooked smile and kiss Nadja's chubby cheek.
Show that grief can be put to one side.
That it's not dangerous.
It took me twenty years to understand that it's okay to be sad about what happened.
That the tears may even have some value in themselves.
Nadja will never be healthy.
But those of us around her must be allowed to grieve and love.

/Siri, 42 years old, sister to Nadja and Liv
(Extract from the book Du får väl säga som det är by Siri Ambjörnsson, Christina Renlund, ed.)

Snackeboda. Bild på en ”prata”

Last updated 2018-02-06 by wermeling, responsible publisher Opratat